Two out of three’s not bad

Life happens in three stages: dependent, independent, and interdependent. As a kid, you’re dependent on parents and family. As a young adult, you’re independent as you discover life and the world and leave the family home. Then comes interdependence: where you both rely on, and are relied upon, by partners and your own children.

I have issues with the ‘interdependence’ thing.

I mean, giving up half of your independence to go 50:50 with … someone else? Doesn’t sound that great to me. In fact, it sounds downright silly. You’ve achieved full independence, with your own income. You’ve nothing left to answer for; you’ve moved from the position of burden on society to active contributor to it.

That’s the good part.

And then … you’re supposed to give it all up, slip into the comfortable numbness of family life, no space or time to yourself to create.

Doesn’t sound that great to me.

All that comes after that is a few decades of the Big Fear: getting old and weak. In the end, interdependence is just closing your eyes to that fear. Trying to fool yourself that by propagating your genes you’ve somehow made your time count.

I’m dying. I may have as few as fifty years left. But you’re dying faster.

One thought on “Two out of three’s not bad

  1. I understand where you are coming from, but I think clinging to your perspective may do a disservice to the notion that two people together, the RIGHT two people together, can hopefully become a gestalt entity and be greater than the sum of their individuality.

    Also, I presume a not-insignificant percentage of the world's more valuable creative output has come from people with a spouse, a mortgage and 2.6 kids so presumably it isn't a guaranteed death sentence to creativity.

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