Carphone Warehouse’s appalling service

I’ve experienced bad service in my time, I really have. But nothing will ever surpass the appalling service of Carphone Warehouse. I’ve received bill after bill, warning after warning, and this morning a solicitor’s letter, relating to someone that doesn’t live at this address.

Carphone Warehouse has always been known as one of the worst service organisations in the UK; it’s run by some guy called Dunstone whose expertise is sales not marketing, and he’s become hugely rich from selling mobile phones. (Although perhaps less rich recently.)

Let’s face it: Dunstone must have done the maths and worked out that offering no service whatsoever was the best business move. Why help someone reduce their costs or cancel a mistake, when many of them will simply give up and write off the extra months of charges incurred? It’s just business.

But that doesn’t change the fact that from phones to broadband, Carphone Warehouse’s service is “stinkingly bad”. And since they’ve completely ignored six written communications from me, this is now a legal matter for me too. My published day rate is £600 and I’ve now spent about a cumulative half-day dealing with their incompetence; let’s just say I’m not putting pen to paper again.

At least I wasn’t quite stupid enough to ever take out a contract with them. Oh dear me no; I’d never dream of it. Among many stories of Carphone Warehouse’s terrible service, mine relates to a stranger who rented my house during 2008.

When I got back to London in February, I received a few letters and bills relating to the house’s previous occupants. No problem; I returned a few, wrote a few notes, and all of them were cleared up in a couple of weeks. Except for one, due to Carphone Warehouse’s lack of any semblance of customer service.

The biggest problem here isn’t even the bad service; it’s simply the complete lack of service on the part of Carphone Warehouse, the absence of any ability to deal with a simple letter. No. I have to be hassled for six months until the situation gets escalated to a legal matter.

The first bill received here I simply returned as “Not known at this address”, like all the others. No problem.

Then – a month later – another bill. I’m prepared to forgive one transgression. I answer with a note that I don’t know the previous occupant’s whereabouts (she left on Jan 30) and quoting the address of the property agents she used.

No response. A few weeks later – another bill. I do the same – reply with the property agent’s address – although I’m really not obliged to.

And again the next month.

And again the following month.

The sixth one I just return as Unknown At This Address again, because it says the line’s been disconnected, which is a Good Thing.

And this morning? A we-know-where-you-live legal letter from G W Solicitors, who presumably aren’t unfamiliar with Carphone Warehouse’s terrible customer service and will deal with this problem (on behalf of their client) quickly and efficiently. What a shame things had to get this far.

I’m sure the lawyer will respond, because – unlike his client – he’s a real human being with capabilities, compassion, and an IQ above his shoe size. He’s also legally obliged to listen, unlike his client.

(A note to the solicitors, who don’t quote an email address: this blog is my official answer to your legal letter, and I will not be making further contact beyond alerting you to it on Monday morning. It relates to your ref 21545106, dated 28 JUL 2009. I state once again that the individual you’re chasing is the former tenant of this address, and left on Jan 30 or possibly before. I have no forwarding address.)

Solicitors, your client is making you look stupid – incurring your services after ignoring six written communications from me. I recommend dumping them as a client. No client is worth that.

So: Carphone Warehouse has cost me £300, and I certainly don’t expect them to be gushing to compensate me.

But oh, Carphone Warehouse, where did it all go wrong, when correcting your appalling customer service would be so easy?

2 thoughts on “Carphone Warehouse’s appalling service

  1. POSTSCRIPT: the solicitor I spoke to on 03 Aug informing them of this blog post apparently were no more capable than Carphone Warehouse itself; a debt collection letter arrived at my address on 12 Nov. Sheesh.

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