Oh Salesforce, get a grip

Oh dear. Just noticed that Salesforce.com, the world’s greatest online application, has adopted a new slogan: “The Leader in Customer Relationship Management (CRM) and Cloud Computing.” This is wrong is so many ways.

First, what’s with that (CRM)? Your first paragraph may need it; your slogan doesn’t. It just makes the line less punchy. But that pales into insignificance over the appalling mistake of ‘Cloud Computing’.

AAAARGGGH!!! What, precisely, is customer-centric about the phrase ‘Cloud Computing’? NO CUSTOMER CARES ABOUT YOUR ADHERENCE TO THE LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL BUZZWORD. The phrase adds not one jot to the customer experience and just clouds the issue: the whole point of cloud computing is that it isn’t a product benefit; it’s ‘simply there’ and you don’t have to worry about where your crunch is coming from.

Look, Salesforce, you ‘do’ customer relationship management. This is what your product provides, and it does it very, very well. You don’t ‘do’ cloud computing; that’s the means, not the end. Your slogan – and therefore the first impression countless potential customers will have of you – obscures this strong, singular, shining fact.

Salesforce.com should sack its marketing director immediately. And hire me instead. And if it was forced through by Benioff himself – shame on you, Marc!

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