‘Crapland’ closes down

Sad for the kids, but I just can’t help laughing at this.

I have very little sympathy with businessmen who push ahead with events that are obviously underfunded. At most he had a £45K budget – barely enough to finance a grotto of any distinction – yet promised all manner of goodies on his website.

But the hilarious part is in the way such stories are reported. The journalists always try to sound sober and serious while inserting passages of high comedic content. For example:

The “tunnel of light” was described by some people as a line of trees with some fairy lights hanging from them.

Elves did not meet visitors at their cars as promised, and “there was no Seamus the elf to take us to santa”, another woman complained.

“He also said staff were subjected to violent outbursts by irate customers, including Santa being attacked and one of the elves being “smacked in the face and pushed into a pram”.”

I wouldn’t mind knowing who the ‘professional troublemakers’ apparently responsible for turning it into a media event are though. Are they the same people who turned the Ross/Brand double act into a nationwide crisis?!

But you’ll note one thing from this photo: at least lip service has been paid to factual accuracy. Santa’s North Pole ‘hood is often pictured on Christmas cards as inhabited by penguins, which are strictly an Antarctic species; note there are no penguins at Crapland, but it does feature a polar bear. He may look a bit sad, but at least he’s in the right hemisphere.

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