Elephant in the room, or maybe a pit bull

Or maybe even a moose. The US elections are going pretty well for those of us outside the USA: Obama’s an exciting young healer, McCain’s a decent man, both could put America back on the right course.

But there’s something that we in Europe just don’t like to even think about.

The ultimate horror of….

….. a President Palin.

While John’s face is unlined and his spirit strong, he’s still pushing mid-seventies, and if the Republicans win next month – the lead isn’t that clear, Obamaniacs – she’s only a faltering heartbeat away from the Oval Office.

I mean, there we were thinking nothing could be as bad as the Bush years, yet a Prez Sarah ‘God buried the dinosaurs to test my faith’ Palin might be worse than Bush. Next to her, the rootin’-tootin, honky-tonk, rinky-dink yeehaw Dubya looks like an urbane liberal. On basically every newsworthy issue she’s either flat-out out wrong, intellectually incomplete, or just plain illogical.

Abortion. Nothing illustrates the differences between Britain and the USA so clearly as the abortion issue. In the USA it divides families and chooses senators; in the UK it’s barely even a debate, and Marie Stopes has just been honoured with a Royal Mail stamp.

Evolution. This young-earth creationist probably thinks the bible was written in English, like approximately 45% of the USA’s god theorists. Logic and rationality once again take a back seat to whatever feels right accordin’ to Momma. Risky. Very risky.

The god theory. A Palin presidency would mean the triumph of private feeling over rational decisionmaking. Anyone who understands religion at the meta level (‘why’ people believe – it’s a perfectly valid evolved trait, since shared beliefs allow societies and civilisations to form) gets frustrated by people who push their invisible friends as genuine explanations rather than comforting stories. And Palin’s a real get-the-kids-prayin’ type.

The War on Terror. Palin would be like Bush, only more so. Expect an Iran invasion within months, maybe Syria after that. Gotta keep those guns blazin’ at those nasty foreigners, ‘cos we sure as hell know what’s best for ’em. Worrying. At least she wouldn’t have Dick Cheney pulling her strings.

Hold on… a Palin presidency would mean a spare VP slot…

Oh dear.

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