Bittersweet rush of a year in the classroom

The last roll call!

And just like that – it’s gone. The 14 courses of the Warwick MBA, all teaching now finished. Just last assignments and a dissertation to take care over the next couple of months. A final MBA party, hastily arranged, happened last night, and for a few beautiful hours everything was like September again.

And it’s been good. My only regret was I wish I’d … got into it earlier. I don’t feel I truly got the hang of studing and learning formally until Term 3; thinking back, terms 1 and 2 were nightmarish, winging it on worry and adrenalin. Trying to give the impression that you know what you’re doing takes serious energy, especially when you don’t.

But I’ve learned a few things about myself. I’m still a bad person, but perhaps a bit less bad than I was. And I realise now that I feel most strongly self-actualised when there’s something to push against, like deadlines and course timetables and people to let down. Exhausting and depressing it’s been at times, but it’s also been… awe-inspiring.

Ha ha. Me, who’s walked across deserts and sweated through rainforests, awestruck by a concrete college curriculum.

As an outsourced marketing guy I had essentially no obligations beyond turning a great headline, and that’s the trouble: working alone breeds megalomania. I spent the previous six years detached from reality. During this year I’ve gradually started the long trek back.

So: one of the three wishes almost done: build a relationship with the academic world. The other two I’m surprisingly confident about*, too. I came here not to earn a degree, but turn around a life that’d grown stale, and maybe knock off a few of the rough edges I acquired in six years alone.

I’m at the end of nine months of hard work, and all I want to do is go back and do it again differently. But then everyone would.

*Not telling you yet.

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