Several guys back in London forwarded me this link about men over 30 passing the ‘age of reason’ and never settling down. The male half of my London crowd is much the same as me – 30s and single and somewhat intrigued about why they never got past the teenage mindset – so anecdotally at least the trend seems genuine.
A few months back I was invited onto a famous TV talk show as an example of the ‘kidult phenomenon’ (no prizes for guessing which one: think a younger husband, older woman, and a famous blooper involving a loosely-buttoned blouse). Which raises a question: am I ‘past the age’ at which I’ll ever settle down… and society now accepts this?
I mean, I’m hitting my late 30s and I haven’t even the slightest desire to share my space (UNTIL I DIE is the constraint here) with one person: I’m beginning to believe I’m now ‘over the hump’. Cold-callers no longer ask if I’m ‘single’; they ask if I’m a ‘bachelor’ (a word with truly horrendous undertones of regret.) Admittedly the ‘space’ right now is a student room in the postgrad dorm – and hence physically impossible to share with ANYONE unless you’re (a) under 22 (I’m not) or (b) extremely athletic (I am.) But the principle remains.
There’s a point in most people’s lives where they get ‘resigned to it’, i.e. they take whatever they can get and resign themselves to that (disappointing) life. I never reached that point and I’m now past it – successfully hurdling the ‘good enough’ problem into the stage of confirmed solo-dom.
I haven’t particularly thought about; I’m cool either way, and I’m nowhere close to the extremes of the comments in the linked article: not the mysogynist rantings of certain British males about women over 30, nor the truly awful Sunday Times columnist India Knight (who’s been known to bemoan stereotyped male expectations of the female form, then shamelessly plug her new diet book… in THE SAME COLUMN.) But I’m pretty sure I’m now past the point where it ever mattered.
And I may – just may – signal the effective end of the educated white male as a major force in this world. We just don’t breed enough.