Doing it by the numbers – NOT

OK, Mr Accounting Lecturer, I’ve got the measure of you now.

About a year ago, I was standing outside the walls of Cairo in the City of the Dead. Where graves are also beds open to the sky, where whole familes live on the dust of their ancestors. A place without hope, where all dreams are shattered and aspirations go to die.

That’s approximately how I feel about Accounting right now.

I recall the lecturer saying a week ago about the Accounting midterm: “It’s quite hard to fail.” Obviously I didn’t notice the evil glint in your eye, the suppressed cackle of maniacal laughter. I know you now.

You are Pure Evil.

The Accounting midterm was obscenely difficult. It’s the difference between learning the theory of something and applying it in the real world; this exam was all about hunting down information and applying formulas while the clock was ticking, and it just ticked too fast. Even the professional accountants in the class were dumbfounded. Basically 100% of the cohort felt they’d screwed up. Me? I definitely failed, and think I’d be lucky if I’ve scored 30%.

This was an exam for mathematical prodigies, which nobody was expecting. I mean, where the fuck are we? Bloody Cranfield or something?!!!!

So I now know who we’re dealing with. Beneath that mild-mannered, unassuming exterior beats the heart of a pure sadist.

No WONDER they set the test date for today; it’s the same day the first ‘big’ tuition fee payment disappears from my bank account. A day earlier and I’d have been tempted to cancel and scarper!

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