I hate pandas

This report reminded me why I hate pandas.

I mean, why is an animal without the sense to eat anything more nutritionally valuable than bamboo shoots and won’t even screw to save its species so uncritically loved by 99% of the world’s humans? Pandas are ABSOLUTELY USELESS CREATURES.

Pandas are TOO FUSSY. Only a small number of bamboo species are acceptable dinner to them, and they change their minds all the time. No species with such food faddisms deserves to be exempted from Darwinism.

Pandas are STUPID. Just sitting around expecting the food to come to them? Pandas have a ridiculous sense of entitlement: if they were human, they’d be stars of CCTV and reality shows, and we’d be deriding them as lazy trailer trash. They’re the chavs of the animal world.

Pandas DON’T REPRODUCE. You’d think that when breeding seasons are few and far between, they’d at least be able to make the effort for a night or two. But apparently romance is dead in panda country. Few pandas show any interest in sex, and it can’t be just because they all look the same. Or are they just too selfish to bring fresh pandas into the world?

And lastly, saving useless pandas TAKES RESOURCES AWAY from creatures who’d be more grateful. Many termite species are in trouble, but – because termites don’t look out at you from a fat furry face with big soulful black eyes, nobody cares about termites. And yet termites are AMAZING creatures. Just a few thousand neurons each, yet together they build architecture whose equivalent human scale would be buildings the size of Everest. Termites are incredible. And yet some species are in terminal decline. All because of those bastard pandas.

I hate pandas.

11 thoughts on “I hate pandas

  1. Because of people like you pandas are almost extinct. If everybody had that same additude then there would be no such thing as opptimism your just a self seeking pesmisit who doesnt care about animals. Pandas may not do anything but alot of animals dont do anything. Heres some advice get s job other than bagging on pandas they didnt do anything to you GET OVER YOUR SELF!

    • Not true. A LOT of animals do something. Wolves are constantly on the move, looking for prey and actually taking care of their young unlike some pandas here. Horses, cows, elephants. All those animals DO something! Pigs, ants, birds, fish. A panda is just DUMB. It’s people like YOU that waste precious money on stupid pandas. That money could be going to other animals who would use it better! YOU get over yourself! Learn your panda facts! They’re NOT WORTH IT. I’m an animal lover and have been all my life. I’m obsessed with animals, but even I know when an animal doesn’t deserve to be on this planet.

  2. I totally agree.
    1. Pandas ditch their babies A LOT because they’re too stupid and lazy. Hear that panda lovers? THEY’RE HORRIBLE PARENTS!!

    2. They are fat and lazy.

    3. All they do is eat all the time. They have ZERO personality. Why like an animal just for looks?

    4. They waste SOOO much money! Save the tiger! Or whale! C’mon, at least those animals are smart and resourceful! It’s like giving money to a fat lazy slob who just burns your money but you give money to him anyway cuz he’s cute! In so doing, you’re killing the other kid who’s super smart and could use ur money to create a small buisness. UGH.

    I WISH ALL PANDAS WERE EXTINCT ALREADY!!! Why are they — how are they — still alive?! They’re so frickin DUMB!

    p.s. did you know they can’t even count to 3? Dogs and squirrels and etc can. In a lab scientists did, the panda FAILED.

  3. Did you know that pandas are actually CARNIVORES? but they’re so LAZY they can’t stand to lift a fucking finger to hunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats why they have to eat so fucking much! Ugh i HATE PANDAS!

  4. dO you own a life? discriminating against any animal on your blog is just wrong … what good will this seriously bring to you? grow a dick and suck it .

  5. I agree with most of the negatives regarding the wonderful,cute,adorable,precious Pandas! They are stubborn,bloated,useless creatures; also ill tempered,and to me they always appear dirty around their undercarriages! Ugh!!!

  6. If only we could get people to enjoy polar bears as much as panda’s then maybe we could keep a worthwhile creature around.

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