The scorching days of winter

Red meat is bad for you. At least it is when you’re tossing a steak into a pan and a cupful of oil leaps out and scalds your forearm.

Two days after the interesting spectacle of seeing a £2 coin-sized area of flesh simply peel away, it’s still a raw mass under the bandage, so decided to ask a chemist’s opinion. Explaining that I’d spilled some hot oil on my arm, she asked what kind of oil is was.

“Well, it was sort of a peppery Tuscan, nice with rocket salad and a bit of sea salt thrown in…”


“No, I meant was it motor or cooking.”

A case of giving too much information. Is this why they call bandages ‘dressings’?