Person of the Year

Let’s get this straight. TIME magazine’s Person of the Year is ME?!! What a cop-out. Didn’t they do ‘The American Soldier’ last year or something? I mean, how much broader a brush can you sweep? Next year, will they expand it to the higher primates or something? At this rate, by the end of next decade they’ll have to include deep-sea volcanic bacteria.

I much prefer the UnNews version. “Normally the editors of Time Magazine select the Person of the Year in the positive sense. However, the overwhelming mediocrity of your life was simply too remarkable to stifle. Your lack of accomplishment, shabby looks, disastrous financial situation, and stagnant love life are more shockingly bad than any good done by an individual this year.”

I blame reality TV. It’s no longer enough that everyone gets the chance to be a star; these days, everyone feels they have an automatic right.

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