I need a new girlfriend

I’m just not meeting girls any more.

There’s been a shift in my client base over the last two quarters; the consultancies I work with these days tend be staffed by guys rather than the female-filled ad agencies of yore. And it’s having a seriously negative effect on mating possibilities.

Without women in the working day, the ‘vectors’ of societal matchmaking – “There’s this guy called Chris, works with my boss, I’ll introduce you” – have been snipped off like deadheaded roses. I used to get 2-3 such mentions a week. Most males inside the M25 with looks superior to a decomposed gorilla probably get the same. Not now, and it can’t ALL be due to my advancing decrepitude… there’s a surplus of 52,000 single women 20-40 over single men of the same age group in London alone.

And adding a bittersweet edge to all this, TMBGITW* works for a company on-off-on my client roster. But she’s shown zero romantic interest in me, and besides concentrating on one unattainable female isn’t the way to find the perfect woman. You have to go for volume. (There are, statistically, at least 4000 ‘perfect’ women under 30 in London**.)

I’m smart, single, approachable (sort of), solvent and funny (although whether I get laughed *with* or *at* is debateable). Even allowing for August’s great blighted burqa-fest, why has it been so long since I had sex that I’d probably blow a hole in a woman the size of my fist?!

All I’m asking for is to encounter women who are devastatingly intelligent, achingly beautiful, athletic as – well, athletes, have big ideas/ ambitions/ goals in life, AND who live in the same city as me. I’ve been lucky enough to know a number of women with 3 or 4 of these attributes, but never all 5. (Of course I’m limiting this to women who’ve actually met and like me. i.e. discounting Scarlett Johanssen.)

And so the search continues.

*The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.
** Taking 1 in 100 women as perfect and 400,000 London-based women 22-27

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