Dear me, yet another authoritative investigation into Diana’s death? With a few exceptions (Saddam’s looting of £55bn from Iraq, Hugo Chavez’s wilful abuse of Venezuela’s oil, Brown’s spending on the NHS) rarely has so much public money been spent on such a stupidly simple chain of events. Look: she got into a car. The driver was drunk. He drove too fast. They crashed. They died.

I’m going to have a few T shirts made up with the following words in 500-pt Verdana. They’ll be a hit among the ironic crowd, I’m sure.

T shirt slogan:

SHE DIED IN A CAR CRASH.

GET OVER IT.