Uurgh. Complaining of a churning stomach this morning, the boss suggested I take some of his proton pump inhibitors to settle it a bit. I’ve always felt the non-medically-advised ingestion of prescription-strength pharmaceuticals to be an ideal pastime for the modern workplace, so of course jumped at the chance, piling one in on top of ibuprofen and a Rennie.

Since when I’ve been feeling… drowsier than a drunk iguana in the sun, so thought I’d better find out more about them. Hmmm… so the molecules bind (covalently, mind – in other words irreversibly) to the adenosine triphosphate system that produces stomach acid. Of course – adenosine triphosphate, ATP. The molecule that carries energy around. I’ve just deep-sixed a stretch of my body’s pipeline capacity, and I’ll be this way for 24 hours until the affected cells go the way of all flesh. Bbbrrrrrzipt.